I made it....25 years.

Over the last few weeks, as I contemplated reaching this quarter of a century milestone, I was not sure if I was happy or sad. After all, the older I get the more I have to act like an adult and start doing something with my life. Actually, getting older is not really a fear of mine, however time moving too quickly and the possibility of me missing out on something bothers me the most. People always say 'Oh you are young, you have all the time in the world'. I usually smile and act like it is true, but unfortunately, I know better. The fact that I need two hands to count my sweet friends who didn't make it to see 25 saddens me. And while I don't doubt that life in heaven is a million times better than this earth, life is still too short. When you look at life as if it will continue on forever, you tend to take things for granted and make mistakes. How much 'easier' would life have been if I knew then what I know now.

So I made a list...a list of things that I wish I had known before I reached 25. Things that would not necessarily have changed the decisions I made, but may have helped me understand life a little better. Things that would have helped me relax enough to take a look at the bigger picture rather than wasting time worrying and stressing about life. And maybe, they will serve as handy reminders when I forget what is important in life. I am sure the list could go on and on but these are the things that popped into my mind first:

1. Having a schedule for life is not realistic. Although the schedule was made to optimize your time, the time you spent making it was actually wasted, because Life will NOT go as you planned. But God's plan is better anyhow, so enjoy! Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord. 'Plan to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
2. Friends come and go. BFF is does not necessarily mean that person will really be your best friend forever, but that you will forever remember that they were your best friend for a while. The friends that stick with you forever may not be your childhood friends and that is OK. Be grateful for everyone who blesses your life for a little while or forever. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 "Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble."
3. Perfection is unattainable in our earthly bodies. Don't stop trying to reach perfection, but stop criticizing yourself when you fail. Phillippians 1:6 "be confident in this, He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
4. You will survive those situations that seem to be the end of the world. And you will be better because of them! 2 Corinthians 12:9-10"But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
5. Your siblings may make life completely unbearable during your childhood, but they will make life bearable as adults. So love them even when they tick you off.
6. Not everyone you meet will like you, but that doesn't mean you are not likable.
7. Perception is reality. A situation may be understood by those involved but to those looking in from the outside it could appear totally different. And to them it doesn't matter what is really happening, what they see is their reality. So watch your words and your actions as if you are on the outside looking in so you know what reality is to those around you.
8. "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31 People will hate you just because they can't find anything to hate about you. We should not be people pleasers because their opinion really doesn't matter. Being God pleasers will bring true happiness.
9. Our culture teaches us to fit the 'perfect profile' to obtain happiness...But little do we know, this perfect profile is unattainable by any real person. So strive to fit into the profile that we are called by God to fulfill. My favorite theme while working at COCUSA was "Got Fruit?" Which is just one glance at the profile for which we should strive. With our theme verse being Galations 5:22-23 "but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such things there is no law." Got Fruit?
10. Women of this world can be malicious and evil creatures...choose your friends wisely
11. Love is your choice....but it is God's command. John 15:12 "This is my commandment that you love one another, just as I have loved you."
12. Everyone has an opinion, those who use their opinion to be cruel should be ignored. The only opinions that really matter are those of God. Friends who can offer constructive criticism are obviously welcome. Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 "Do not pay attention to every word people say,
    or you may hear your servant cursing you, for you know in your heart
    that many times you yourself have cursed others."
13. Forgiveness may appear to be a gift to your offender, but in reality it is more of a gift for yourself. So forgive those who offend you, even if they show no remorse. If you refuse to forgive and hold it against them, you will only increase your heartache. Be quick to forgive and you will be blessed. Colossians 3:13 "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive"
14. Pray for your enemies. You will find peace. Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
15. The power of prayer is unmatchable. 1 Thessalonians 3:17 "Pray without Ceasing"
16. While grades are important, a B is not the end of the world...stop being so hard on yourself and enjoy life while you learn. Although it is important to try your hardest at everything you do, these things will not matter in heaven. Matthew 6:19 " Do not store up riches for yourselves here on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and robbers break in and steal. 20 Instead, store up riches for yourselves in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and robbers cannot break in and steal. 21 For your heart will always be where your riches are."
17. Hug often. There are not many people in life who will be offended if you hug them, and if they are they probably needed the hug more than anyone else. There is never a good or bad time for a hug...and in my opinion, hugs can change the world. If more people gave hugs, more people would be blessed by receiving hugs. Spread the wealth.
18. Don't wait for the 'right moment' to tell someone what they mean to you. You never know when you will run out of moments.
19. If someone dislikes you, love them. Romans 12:20 "To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
20. Serve others everyday. There are countless opportunities to help others you just need to open your eyes. Humble yourself and place others before you...in doing so you will find that you find a little more love every day. Selfishness does not bring you happiness, in fact it takes you to a place where it is virtually impossible to be happy. Acts 20:35 "In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
21. Let Go, Let God...and don't wait until you have tried everything you could think of and nothing works. Situations big or small are better handled by the Big Guy. When you try to carry your burdens yourself you will find physical and emotional pain. When you trust that God will handle the situation and let go you will find freedom. I often look back to situations that I never thought I would survive and wonder how I made it through. I see the pain and turmoil I experienced as my pride tried to handle it all by myself, and then I see the freedom as soon as I surrendered it to God. Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
22. Don't obsess over your physical being. While it is important to remain healthy, size does not determine your worth. Mirrors were made to assist you not to judge you. These bodies are temporary homes for our souls so if you are going to diet anything, diet worldly values because they will all fade away eventually.
23. If I have learned anything at all in 25 years it is that words can be daggers. You can break someones spirit with just a slip of the tongue and it is impossible to take back anything you say. So speak kindly to everyone. Love everyone and build up those around you. I have hurt my share of people, and I have said many things about complete strangers that I am ashamed even came to mind. If I could go back in time I would for sure change how I treated those around me, enemies and friends alike. I am blessed to have friends who are full of unconditional love and forgiveness...for them I am grateful. Matthew 7:1-6 "“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. ...
24. Be thankful for everything...good and bad. Each has a purpose in your life. 2 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
25. Avoiding temptation is not always possible so armor yourself so you are prepared when you face it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

I am so Grateful for all that God has given me in the past 25 years of my life, and I cannot wait to see what he has planned for the rest.

To each and every one of my family and friends: I love you dearly and cannot imagine life without you. Thank you for helping shape the person that I am today with your love and guidance.

My Best Brothers

I love all of my friends and family, but there are a couple men in my life (other than my sweet hubby) who I could not live without. Those two sweet friends are my brothers. They are the two people I have been able to count on since birth and even if I thought I would rather have had sisters growing up, I would not have traded them for anything. We had our ups and downs, including arguments, and full fledged fights (screaming, biting, hair pulling, and punching included: I can hold my own). I never thought I would consider these two terrors 'friends' but now I claim them as my best friends. We have not lived in the same house since I was 17, which might be one reason we are able to be friends. I am sure if we lived together we would drive each other nuts. For the last 6 years I have been state/country hopping so our friendship has relied on internet and phone...boy do I enjoy looking at my phone and seeing a message or an incoming call from the 'big' or the 'little'!

Me and the 'Big'....and his fine art work

Me and the little...enjoying nap time

All three: Zach, 12 yrs, Me, 9 yrs, Bryce, 4 yrs.

Fall 2006 Bryce, 14, Me, 20, Zach 24

My Wedding 2008: Bryce, 17, Me, 22, Zach, 26

Zach's Swearing in with the Police Department and graduation (2009) Me, 23, Zach 26, Bryce 18

Now we all live closer (within 2 hours of one another), with Bryce away at school in Macomb and Zach living in Peoria it is nice to know that we are within driving distance. Although I find our sibling dates too few and far between, I appreciate then when they are possible....which makes the holiday season a little more bearable for me. So for Thanksgiving, my sweet Little Bubba was home from school and we were able to enjoy a much needed sibling date (times 3)! So we enjoyed some Basta's, a movie, some holiday festivities, and a sibling photo shoot. All of which was full of laughter, story time, and just enjoying time with one another.

I love watching my brothers grow up :o) I worry about them more than I do anyone else and cannot stand when they are going through hard times. I would drop my whole world and even be willing to mess up my schedule (thats a HUGE deal) if they ever needed me.

I know I have blogged about both Bryce (here and here) and Zach (here and here) and how proud they make their big/little sister, but i needed to blog once more to say how truly thankful I am to have them in my family. I would deal with all the fighting, tormenting, and crazy 'i hate you' moments from our childhood time and time again knowing that they make my life complete. I just wish I knew then what I know now...because back then I swore we would never be close. How wrong I was.

NOW: Zach, 27, Me, 24, Bryce 19

So brothers, I love you more than I could ever put in words. Bryce, I am so proud of you and cannot wait until you finish college so you can come home and live close to me (or with me if you can't afford rent). Zach, I know you have had a stressful year with work, but your positive attitude and ability to go with the flow is truly admirable. I love you no matter what city you are working for, as long as you are close :o) Thanks for being wonderful brothers and loving me always.

Day 'whatever number': My YGP

It was a busy weekend with Girlfriend Fridays, Saturday work days, Sunday Church days...but All I am thankful for. Although, I could do without the headaches that sometimes interrupt my fun...

But my post today is one that fits the 'you had to be there' criteria, so I won't get into many stories :o)

I started attending Willow Hill United Methodist Church youth group when I was in grade school. I became more involved when I was a freshman in high school. And would walk to church on Sunday Mornings because it was close. I wanted my independence... I could not have been more blessed to live so close to a place that would become my home, my family. The youth group became my core group of friends. Although many of us have gone different places in life, some of my closest friends began in this group.

Us with our Flamingos....2001. This was near the beginning of our crazy memories together

My first missions trip with my loves!!! We also went with our friends from Pekin United Methodist Church. Let's just say, the memories were plentiful and we did not do a very good job staying out of trouble. Summer 2001

Brittany, Me, Kari, Janine, and Amanda celebrating Brit's 16th birthday. Yes we blindfolded our sweet friend and took her to random places, made her do stupid things, and then she had to guess where we were. She was a trooper.

My last missions trip with WHUMC. I believe this was Summer 2003

We went on mission trips together, placed plastic pink flamingos in peoples yard as fundraisers, had the cops called on us, played sardines in the church every sunday, and could be found together at least 3 days a week if not more. There were quite a few of us in the family, but my closest friends who are my 'lifer friends' would have to be Ryan, Nick, Brittany, Howie and Beth, the Duffy Fam, and Kari (and her whole family). These are people I can go months without seeing and not miss a beat. Love them all dearly.

The bestest Ryan....My 21st birthday

Ry, me, Nick, and Janine...probably in 2005 at my brother house.

My Sweet Howie and Beth on one of our many dates. My guess would be 2006 or 2007

The YGP picture taken at my wedding somehow didn't include me...not sure how that happened. But I have one of my favorite 'big brothers' Nick and Ryan. 2008

Us at Ryan's wedding....Nick, me, Ryan, Beth, Howard

My beautiful Brittany...my twin, my bridesmaid. I am so lucky to have you as a friend, love you dearly.

Sunday I was blessed with a small reunion with a few from our group. Thank you Howie and Beth for treating us like the kids you never had. I can't speak for everyone but I know for a fact I would be lost without you both.

Youth group reunion/Howie's surprise 50th birthday party (Summer 2009)

I cannot begin to address the guidance I received from everyone, friends as well as youth leaders. From high school drama, to friends, family, college, and life...Howie and Beth, Kari, Kev and Cath, you have all be life savers. Love you all dearly.

Sweet Andy, a beloved member of our family, love you and miss you more than I can ever explain. Can't believe it has been over 5 years...you would however be proud of us.... It never fails you become a topic that brings smiles to our faces whenever we have reunions. We Love you and are blessed by the few years we got to call you family. Can't wait to see you again someday.

I am grateful for God placing me in this family and for the friendships that will last a life time. All of the best memories of high school (and still today) sparked from this group. Love you all and so glad I was able to spend a little bit of time with some of you on Sunday.

Day 7: My Best Friend, my Beautiful B

I am so blessed to be able to call Katie my Best friend. We may have started out on the wrong foot, but if I had it to do all over again I would not change a thing.

It all started on our family vacation my senior year of high school, where Katie's family was going to join us. I didn't know Katie's family but since I was getting a free vacation out of the deal I figured I didn't really care who we went with, as long as it was somewhere warm. However, I was not thrilled about their 'freshman' daughter who would be joining us...no I did not know her, but I knew of her and didn't want to be her friend. snotty yes. BUT I don't feel that bad because she felt the same way about me. Both of us begged to bring a friend along so we didn't have to entertain one another, but our parents both refused...and for this I am grateful. That week started one of the best friendships I could have ever hoped for!

We went from refusing to talk to one another to being attached at the hip. Shopping, eating, swimming, tanning, talking about boys, sitting on the computer together for countless hours, annoying my brothers, and just enjoying one another took up the WHOLE vacation. The rest is history...

Since that vacation Katie has been the one friend I can rely on at anytime. She totally gets me and most likely knows what I am thinking before it even crosses my mind. She finishes my sentences on a daily basis and I am grateful because there are many times we are talking 'code' and I can't always say what I want to say. So when she 'just knows' it kinda helps the conversation continue. Katie and I have always been at the same place in our boy world as well. Whether it be boy trouble, new boys, old boys, boy happiness, engagement, wedding....we are always on the same page at about the same time. Sometimes I worry about how similar our lives are....but I enjoy every minute.

Katie is the kind of friend you can be yourself around. There are no awkward moments, no conversation is inappropriate, no worries of offending the other with honesty, nothing goes unsaid...I like it that way. I have cleaned katie's room/house countless times (We won't even talk about the cheese incident), helped her move from house to house, even entertained her at wee hours of the morning in the ER, and of course the COUNTLESS 'unmentionable' memories together... Our friendship doesn't end with us, because her family is like my own and I am so grateful for them as well. I know I am welcome at any time, for any event...and their house is always open to me. When she still lived with her parents it was not uncommon to find me in the house with Katie no where to be found.

Katie has been there for me through difficult break ups, the loss of friend, family drama, you name it, she has been there. No one else could have filled the Maid Of Honor shoes in my wedding, nor would I have wanted anyone else to try.

She may be younger than me but she takes care of me :o)

I was Honored to be the Matron of Honor in Katie's wedding just 3 short months after my own.

We have lived as close as 1 mile and as far apart as opposite sides of the world, but nothing has come between us. She made the move back to IL a little less painful when we left California. This girl is my saving grace when it comes to clothes and shopping, no only does she shop with me constantly, but she also lets me shop in her closet :o) We have thrown each other bridal showers, starting the baby shower years now, celebrated birthdays...We are the queens of lunch dates and coffee dates. And, since her life (our lives) will soon be changing, as she has her first little baby in a few weeks, we have increased the number of dates to prepare for the days ahead of us when they are lacking. I cannot be more grateful for all the memories and girl talks. Thank you Katie for putting me in my place when needed :o)

Our most recent adventure was going to Fired Up for a last 'girls night'. And Chili's of course...future adventures are already in the planning process for once baby Gatlin is here. I cannot wait to meet my sweet little nephew when he arrives (December 1st is my guess) You can prepare for many more 'Katie posts' once the little man gets here. And Micah can plan to have a house to himself as I may move to Chillicothe to decrease my gas bill.

I love you Kate, bestie, Beautiful B, Katie Lynn....I cannot imagine my world without you (and your family). Thanks for you friendship and unconditional love!

Day 6: American Cancer Society

Today's highlight was my meeting with American Cancer Society...Love the organization, love the people who work for them, and love the people they help.

I have been volunteering with ACS since High School and my life is not complete without them! My college years were cram packed with studying....but my spare time was spent loving my extra curricular activities including my Chemistry and Biology honors fraternities, student government, Chi Omega, and whatever else I found to entertain myself. Next to Chi Omega, the majority of my free time was spent starting Colleges Against Cancer (CAC). This is basically an organization who's goal is to educate people on campus about various kinds of cancer, preventative measures that can be taken, and resources that are available to the general public through ACS. We also try to help raise support for the ACS. Since this organization was not present on campus before, it took a few years to get it up and running. Thank goodness for a WONDERFUL ACS staff partner, Jessica, and my sweet saving grace, Ashley, who bailed me out when it all became a little overwhelming. But we did it, and CAC continues to grow on campus. What a blessing! From CAC came Relay For Life of Carthage College. RFL is a community event that universities have made into a campus event as well... It is basically an overnight fundraiser in which everyone should take part! (really you will not regret it!)

My Sweet Chi Omega sisters at the first annual Relay For Life of Carthage College. Thanks for you support throughout the WHOLE process.

Once I graduated my life felt so empty without the responsibilities of CAC and RFL....so I decided to get back into the swing of things and volunteer at the Peoria ACS. Sweet Claire, my staff partner, (ironically the name of the person who was the reason I originally got involved with ACS in high school) has quickly embraced me and given me multiple opportunities to get involved. She schedules my 'rides' which is where you take people to treatments if they cannot gain transportation through family or friends (They are always looking for volunteers so feel free to contact me if you want to be a driver!). And these short trips are such a blessing as you get to enjoy conversations with the kind souls you you transport...Love all my passengers and am so happy they have all finished treatments! Celebration for them!

Claire has also helped me join the Committee for Morton's Relay For Life! I am already counting down the days until summer :o) Welcome to my 'Relay Tunnel' where it becomes impossible to understand how people have never heard of Relay or heaven forbid don't get involved, so I will apologize to friends and family as I bombard you all with Relay :o) Morton's goal this year is $111,000, so I am hoping we reach $120,000. And once things are underway you can expect many more Relay blogs.

But for now I am grateful that I can be involved! I am so thankful for people who spend every day of their life working for ACS, and for the people who help people like me get involved! I am especially thankful for each day I have with all of my friends and family who are battling cancer. Thankful each day for the memories of those who are no longer with us. And blessed to know that no matter what the futures holds, I will see you all again someday. ACS and Relay are just one way I can honor each and every one of you. You all hold a special place in my heart!

Day 4 & 5: 'til Death Do Us Part...

I have written and deleted this post about 4 times now, thus the reason it has taken me 2 days to post. It is one of those things you just can't put into words, because words just aren't enough to paint the picture. But, I shall try. Sorry that it is just random unorganized thinking, but you should be used to that after 3 years worth of 'random, unorganized thinking' blogs....

I am so grateful (total understatement) for my sweet Hubs... If anyone in this world deserves a prize for putting up with me and loving me unconditionally...Micah would win without the slightest competition. There is NO ONE else in this world who could put up with me on a daily basis, happy girl or not, so I appreciate the commitment dear hubby.

We may be 'newlyweds' by timeline, but we are an old married couple in life experience :o) Married for 2 together for 7...it has been a roller coaster to say the least (good thing I love roller coasters). We have been through hell and back, a couple times, since we said 'I Do', but the journey has only made us stronger. Micah has been a HUGE part of my life since high school, and back then I really didn't understand 'love'. And I am by no means a scholar, but I am pretty sure I have a better idea at (almost) 25 than I did at 18. Micah has loved me through the toughest times of my life, he knows every detail of my life, every fault, every like, every dislike, and he loves me despite everything. I know everything about me too and I find it hard to love me, so I can't imagine someone else finding the place in their heart for someone like me....but for that I am grateful and forever blessed.
Our world today looks at marriage as a 'til death do us part, unless you totally screw up before then' commitment, which is not how marriage was intended to be. Marriage is forever, no matter what one does that ticks off the other, there really is no excuse short of physical abuse that would justify 'giving up'. And even then, giving up is a last resort...But people do, everyday. And every time you give up, you give up a part of yourself and you are forever damaged. It isn't worth it. Marriage takes work, it is not fireproof unless you make it that way. And my favorite movie quote: "Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." So we ask ourselves daily if we are fireproof, and although we have our ups and downs the answer always seems to be yes. And I KNOW Micah will be there beside me until the day I die. Not because we are perfect and won't fail at times, but because we made that commitment and nothing can break it. Two years ago I posted This and This and my thoughts have not changed. I still challenge everyone to rent the movie or Read/Do the Love Dare (I have both to loan out if desired :o)

I went into this marriage thinking it was going to be all peachy, life would be perfect like in the fairy tales. I quickly found out that life can deal you a crappy hand and you just have to learn how to work with it. So we learned together, and I cannot begin to say how grateful I am for a husband who was patient with me. Now, as I sit a think back to how we were just over a year ago, I have absolutely nothing at all to complain about today. Life went from bad to worse to pretty darn good, and I am OK with that. Sure I find little things to complain about, but in reality it is not that he is wrong, he just isn't like me and that is OK. In fact, that is perfect because if he was anything like me we would drive each other up a wall within minutes and there is no way this would ever work out. But who am I kidding, if he was anything like me I never would have married him.

So, I am grateful for a Husband who is NOTHING like me. He does stuff around the house that I could never do. He does dishes because he knows I HATE that chore. I love that he teaches Sunday school with me and loves the kids as much as I do. I love that he is willing to drive a crappy car just because he knows an added loan would stress me out. I love that he cooks when I work late, and lets me be a grump on bad days. I love that he watches Dancing With The Stars, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice with me even if he would rather gouge his eyes out. He fills my car with gas because I don't like touching the gas pump. He gets me ice cream whenever I ask for it. He lets me go to bed at 9 and doesn't make fun of me for being an old lady. He loves me when I am unlovable and hugs me when I am a jerk. He deals with my OCD and tries so hard to change little things to make the day easier on me. He eats food that doesn't sound good to him just because he knows I like it. He lets me eat off of his plate whenever, even if I could have ordered that meal myself. He got me my sweet Cooper even tho he really didn't want a dog. He takes vacations to places he doesn't really want to go, just because he knows it will make me happy. He sacrifices buying all his 'toys' because he knows I am a penny pincher. He works hard at a job he doesn't like because he knows it is the only option right now. He lets me work crap jobs making next to nothing until i figure out what I want to do with my life. He hangs out with my friends when he doesn't want to. He is always the first to apologize even if I am in the wrong. He snaps me back to reality when I overreact. And he loves me despite all the crap I put him through. I praise God for him daily and am so blessed to have married such a wonderful man. I have seen so many changes in his life over the last two years and I cannot wait to see what the future brings.

So Hubs, thanks for putting up with me. Even if I am ungrateful and down right snotty sometimes, know that I notice the little things (and big things) you do for me every day, even if I still focus on the negative. No matter how negative I get, I do appreciate all that you do for me. I love you for all the sacrifices you make daily and cannot imagine life without you. Thanks for knowing everything about me, dealing with me daily, and loving me unconditionally. I love you to pieces and would not trade you for the world.

*Photographs compliments of our FAVORITE photographers: Reichman Photography*

Day 3: Sunday Blessings

It has only been a few days, but this 'blog challenge' has my mind constantly thinking about life and everything that I take for granted. I have become more aware of all the little things that are a part of my daily/weekly routine, things I would be completely LOST without. For example, mascara, without it I have no eyelashes. My eyes are small enough as is so you can only imagine how 'invisible' eyelashes make them look even smaller. So thank you inventors of mascara, I am forever grateful to you. Then you have other little things like the dish washing fairy who comes at night while I am sleeping and does my dishes...and while that silly little fairy seems to make messes throughout the rest of the house when he comes, I still appreciate him doing the dishes (thanks sweet hubby). I am still searching for a laundry fairy as well as the dusting, window washing, vacuuming, and cooking fairy, but I will try not to be greedy. I appreciate the mailman who kindly delivers mail (aka bills) right to my front door, thank you SO much mailman. And the garbage man who takes away my garbage before it gets all smelly.

I am thankful for internet access as it keeps me connected with all of my friends. Netflix, I love you. Gasoline, I am glad you get me from place to place but I would be more grateful for you if you lowered your prices about $0.50. Which in turn makes me grateful for my jobs yet again to pay for all of the mentioned 'little' things. While many of these 'little things' are quite petty, if they disappeared I can assure you I would notice...and I can 100% guarantee it would make for one of those 'grouchy days'. We are so spoiled!

Something much larger and closer to my heart that I take for granted weekly....My Church. I am so incredibly grateful for my church. I have attended many different churches in my lifetime and I must say that Liberty Bible is totally worth the 20 minute drive on Sunday mornings. Pastor Tom married us and we knew that as long as we lived within driving distance he would be the one 'teaching' us each Sunday. I (we both are) am so grateful for his guidance when times get rough, knowledge of the Bible, and leadership through this crazy messed up world full of 'religion'. I won't get out my 'soap box' about religion and the "a la carte" beliefs of our culture today, but I will say that it is nice to actually have a message each Sunday that applies to everyday life yet comes straight from Bible. No twisted interpretations that help us justify the ways of the corrupt world we live in today...just truth. Pure, honest, in your face truth.

The friends we have found at Liberty are very dear to our hearts. Seriously, we would be lost and lonely without them, as they make up 90% of the friends we hang out with regularly. We enjoy game nights, bible studies, food...lots and lots of food, fellowship, long chats, more food, and just simply knowing that we have someone to rely on at any time, day or night. We are grateful for our sweet 5th and 6th graders...Sunday school would not be the same without their stories, giggles, and innocent souls. We cannot wait to watch their sweet hearts grow as they get older.

My nursery munchkins (AKA birth control), no matter how frustrating it can get at times, nothing brings a smile to my heart like sweet toddlers. Which also reminds me how grateful I am for those sweet friends who bail me out when I have 10 toddlers and no helpers. Thanks Martha, you saved my life!

It is so easy to get into the habit of physically going to church each Sunday (and even easier to get out of the habit), but bringing an open mind and willing heart can be a challenge. Church is so much more than a building...it is a family, a support system, a group of people who hold you accountable for your actions daily....a safe place...a home. We LOVE our church home and are so blessed to be surrounded by people who Love God and live each day knowing that someday we will no longer worry about having grouchy days. How can you NOT be grateful knowing that this world is only a stop along the way....

Family

Mom had the great idea of going to a tea room and enjoying a sweet little lunch. I was a bit skeptical at first...I am not always the first to jump at the chance to go somewhere 'different' (not these days anyhow). I have a slight anxiety problem when it comes to the unknown...or last minute planning. Luckily mom gave me plenty of notice so I was prepared for the day :o) And my forced positive attitude made me follow through with the plans, happily. Which led to a wonderful day. Progress...

Such a cute little place that I would NEVER have found on my own. Mom heard about it from some girlfriends and decided she wanted to go sometime. So off we went to Dunlap. They seat people in groups so you cannot just show up for lunch without reservations (if anyone is interested). Everyone wears a tiara and is a princess or a queen (cheesy but whatever). Traditional English tea is served and you simply enjoy the company of your friends/family.My little Posse...Aunt Doris (not really my aunt, actually a cousin, but grew up calling her aunt so it sticks), G-Ma (she gets cooler as she gets older), Myself, and Mom.

The Table setting for Tea. Wish I would have been paying attentions and taken a picture with the background included as G-Ma was placing her tiara while Aunt Doris held the mirror for her. Bah ha ha....I love my life.

For my English friends....this was as good as real English Tea!!!! Not like the crap they serve here in America. Now you can all come to visit and not be disappointed by the tea you are served...as long as we go to tea parties every day of course.

The grub....yes this whole thing was for one person. I took home all my 'sweets' and was rude and refused to try anything with any sort of 'sauce' or condiment on it. Don't judge

I ate the chicken, celery, nuts, and dried cranberries UNTIL I hit some kind of creamy pudding type concoction on the bottom of the bowl. Just couldn't bring myself to try it...

The items I did eat were very good! And I was full in the end so it all worked out.

Best part of the whole day was wandering around the gift shop only to find myself surrounded by 100% English items. HEAVEN. Nothing can make me smile like a trip down memory lane. I love and miss my English family. But we have Skype and that keeps me sane until I can return. I refrained from purchasing any of my favorite sweets (pretty sure I gained 15 lbs in England: this is seriously no joke and I have pictures as proof), but now that I know they are readily available anytime I want....this could be trouble. Maybe after Christmas I will indulge, maybe...but I prefer to be in England enjoying the sweets.

And this great 'tea party' was followed by a short skype date with my favorite English love...because it would not be right to have tea without a real UK conversation...Hannah what would I do without you???

So, I am grateful for my Mom, G-Ma and Aunt Doris and our fun times together. Especially grateful for Mom as she is always available to listen to me on my grouchy days. Thanks for putting up with my random conversations, the constant 'poor me' attitude, and the many many many tears of frustration. Thanks for refraining from telling me that I am a moron when it is probably the truth. And thanks for loving me unconditionally, even if I was/am a wild child. I am so glad you journaled each and every unthinkable act the three of us terrors thought up as children....I think. It is quite possible that I will need to burn that journal, but for now I will thank you for it and the countless conversations that come from each entry.

Day 2: I could get used to this

Grateful for Sleep....so so grateful for sleep. Even if that meant that I slept in until 8 and didn't get all my OCD chores done. After weeks of tossing and turning, waking up constantly throughout the night, and not being able to sleep past 4 AM I finally slept more than 4 hours in one night. Celebration, I think so!

Yesterday was a great LONG day. Got some chores done before work and made it to work on time. Work went well, I seem to have my mind back and some of my motivation. Even if I forget how to do my job periodically :o) Of course I had a few moments of frustration and grouchiness but it was quickly resolved....I think. Stayed busy which helps pass the long 12 hour shifts. Then headed to the In-Law thanksgiving for a bit. Always enjoyable visiting with the cousins. And then home to annoy the hubby with late night chats as he was trying to fall asleep (he had to wake up at 430 to go hunting in the morning) SORRY love, now you know why I have trouble sleeping, my mind is always racing with off the wall thoughts. Great day!

I am so blessed...with a life full of great people! I could go on an on today with my list of things I am grateful for but I will only name a few so I can save some for the rest of my blogs.... Sleep, late night chats with the hubs, Starbucks, Stupid jokes, Phone calls from best friends, Skype Dates, laughter, my job(s), Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, friends who 'get' me and love me anyhow, beautiful weather.....and the list goes on

(I am grateful Micah finally killed a deer, maybe I will not be a hunters widow much longer....thinking positive)

Day 1....survival

Being positive all day yesterday was not the easiest, BUT I would say it was a successful day. I found myself constantly reminding myself that i needed to stay positive and not complain (sometimes out loud. haha) I am hoping that after a few days of sarcasm and forcing the smiles it will become habit. Not saying I will be perfectly happy all the time, but I am hoping to at least smile enough to completely ignore the negative energy thrown at me daily. I can handle haters, I just don't want to be one!

I thought I was doomed on my way to work as I was running late and there was construction traffic. And then the radio kept me smiling, amazing how music can keep you in a "happy place." Made it to work on time and made it through the day with a smile on my face.

I am so grateful for my co-workers. SO SO SO grateful for my co-workers. We all have our ups and downs but at the end of the day they are my family. When you spend more time at work than family and friends combined...you learn to love one another! With the stresses of everyday life in the ER it is kind of difficult to make it through the day without the support of these wonderful people. So thank you for making it a happy day for me. Thanks for reminding me why I go to work each day and put up with all the craziness that Peoria throws at us. I often complain about my job, say I don't want to go to work, or just get grouchy at the thought of dealing with whining people all day....and then I remember that I work with some of the most amazing people in the Peoria area and it is all worth it. Love you guys! (Becky & Lori, thanks for keeping me in check all day)

I am also grateful for our new Building....as much as i curse it daily it is a pretty sweet facility! And if nothing else, it's enormous size forces me to walk many miles a day which helps me keep my weight in check. So thanks OSF...I am sure it is worth the lack of a pay increase :o)

Since this is being written at 3:30 in the morning...I am hoping that tomorrow I can be grateful for sleep :o)

And of course....I am grateful for my Hubby (and his hot abs)!

Hello Moody!

I wake up every morning hoping to have a good day with a positive attitude and smiles all around...who doesn't. I highly doubt anyone out there really hops out of bed and says "Hey I think I will be a grouch today." But it happens, life happens. And most likely, the things in life that seem to push us over the edge are not expected or planned. Whether it be a rough day at work, a day where you get some bad news, or simply a day where things are NOT going as planned, your day can go from good to bad to worse in a matter of minutes. For me, a day that does not fit into my perfectly formed schedule is a serious 'stress starter'. And of course if there is something out of place, a chair is not pushed in at the table, a drop of water on the counter, a shoe off of the shoe rack.....ok ok I am a bit OCD, but everyone has issues. Micah will tell you that I can wake up smiling and once my OCD mind takes over it is all down hill and my mood goes along for the ride. For someone else it may be a speeding ticket on the way to work...that would put me in a foul mood as well. Or possibly hitting every red light in a 10 mile stretch would put a damper on your day. But it could be worse...somewhere in this state, this country, somewhere in this world, someone is having a worse day than you. We just have to face the fact that people have bad days...some more than others...but bad day or not, we control our moods. And our moods affect those around us. I often forget this part....because once I am in my OCD world it is my world and no one else matters. Selfishness. (We are all sinners and I am working on this!)

I often try to blame my mood on those around me. But in reality it is all me. Someone else may hurt my feelings, their actions may inconvenience me, or they may really piss me off, but that doesn't give me the right to be a grouch...even if I have all the justifications in the world. (and I promise I will try to justify)

So, my goal is to improve my mood and to prevent myself from going to that nasty hateful grouchy place. I am much more enjoyable to be around when I am a happy girl and right now, i am not a happy girl, well not all the time anyhow. I try and my plastic smile can usually cut it for a while and then it fails....fails miserably and I am a grouch. So I apologize to all my sweet friends, co-workers, and husband for my extreme moodiness and excessive complaining the last few weeks (correction: Months). Things have not really "gone my way", for those of you who deal with me every day you can attest that this is a serious understatement. I have found myself crawling out of bed grouchy and the majority of my conversations are negative. I annoy myself with my complaining so I can only imagine how my friends feel at this point. And while really has been a horrible few weeks it is not worth my time or energy to go through each day grumpy. Which brings me to the point of this blog...

Thanksgiving...I am normally not a holiday kind of person. I get stressed...imagine that. But I believe that we control our thoughts and attitudes and gratefulness is a great way to drown out the hatefulness. SOOOO Welcome to Whitney's (however many days I allow myself time to blog) Days of Thanksgiving, where I will bore you with the many things in life I am actually grateful for in hopes of reminding myself that life really isn't all that bad and I am quite blessed....

(and for those who are with me daily, friendly reminders not to complain would be awesome....if I start to go on a rant about something stupid, just walk away and tell me to be grateful!)

Sunshine for the Soul

The rest of our trip consisted of Food, Food and More Food... We made sure we ate at all of our favorite spots, hungry or not. We also wandered around La Jolla for some window shopping and Ocean viewing. There were countless visits with friends as well. Over all I would consider our trip a success!

Favorite Places to Eat:

Miguels Cocina (Coronado Island)

The Burger Lounge (best veggie burgers around)

Fuji Japanese Steak House

Wahoo's (Fish Tacos)

Jake's Del Mar (oceanside elegance...)

Favorite People In San Diego:

Billy and Mallory

Ben and Debbie (plus the whole Harris family of course)

Tracy

Ela and Jon (even if you really don't live in San Diego)

Favorite Spots:

La Jolla

Torrey Pines

Sea World

The San Diego Zoo

Seaport Village

Gaslamp District

Fashion Valley Mall

Coronado Island

Any and Every Beach

Shadow Mountain Community Church

True North (night Life fun)

Nothing like a San Diego Sunset....

My LOVES. Ela and Jon...At the Beach in La Jolla

We made them take a 'SoCal' guy friends picture. At least we didn't make them hold hands :o)

My sweet sweet friend Ela

The Seal/sea lion hang out

Many people ridicule Cali for its 'liberal' outlook on life....but everyone who 'hates CA' has clearly never been there. So friends from the Midwest....take a vacation :o)

British love at Sea World

There were many highlights to our trip, but one that surpasses them all was my reunion with my dear sweet friend Ela. This whole blog started when I was living in England and I long to be able to blog once again about my British encounters...Someday I will return. Some of my most treasured friendships began on British soil...friendships that speak to my soul from thousands of miles away. When I left England I left knowing that I would once again see the sweet faces I grew to love. So far Skype is the only way I get to see these beautiful women, however I was blessed with a real life reunion while we were in San Diego.

Ela was supposed to fly to IL when Micah and I got married, but illness hindered her from making the trip...such a bummer, but there was no illness this time around. Ela and her now fiance made the trip to CA for their own pleasure and shortly after planning we realized that our trips overlapped. PERFECTION (As if I needed another reason to make the trip perfect)

We ate at our FAVORITE restaurant in San Diego, Miguels. If anyone plans on visiting San Diego this is a MUST TASTE. Coronado Island holds the finest Mexican food and Italian Gelato. Both of which were enjoyed with my beautiful Ela, her fiance Jon, Mallory and Billy.

Since we also enjoyed a day at SeaWorld together. It was a gorgeous day for a stroll with the whales...

The traditional Micah/Whitney watching Shamu picture...

Thriller...definite entertainment

Ela showing off her engagement ring.

The Whales never get old...I could watch them all day long every day :o)

Why can't you live in the same country as me? I need more friends like you ;o)

Sweet reunion....with a sweet friend who knows my heart without saying a word. It is such a joy to be able to talk to someone who 'gets' you. Thank you Ela for your friendship. For your unconditional love...and for all the memories on British and US soil. I cannot wait for our next reunion on British soil.